I Never Saw It Coming

By Nancy White

We left the hospital after eleven long days, finally having a diagnosis: Lewy Body Dementia. I had never heard of it before and had absolutely no idea what to expect. The only words of comfort came from a well-meaning nurse who looked at me and said, “You’ll be back.”

“Lord, help!” became the cornerstone of my daily prayers for the next five years.

As a health researcher for over thirty years, my natural instinct was to dive into the data. I began aggressively researching the disease, looking for the best doctors, support systems, caregiver trainings, and home modifications. But beneath the researcher’s shield, my heart was breaking. What had happened to our beautiful dreams of aging together through our golden years—traveling, making memories, and being a constant presence in the lives of our children and grandchildren?

“Lord, help!” I cried out again. In response, I felt the gentle anchor of Scripture. In 2 Corinthians 12:9, the Lord promises, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Day after day, I kept reminding the Lord of that very promise.

As the months and years passed, my husband’s decline brought surprising, depressing symptoms—and with them came the naysayers. “You won’t be able to keep him home until the end,” some warned. He was 6'2" and 200 pounds. I am 5'1" and… well, a Southern woman doesn't reveal her actual weight! 

But God!

I told myself all through the day/night, Philippians 4:13: “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Tenacity has always been my middle name—some might call it stubbornness—and I was determined to ensure he was well taken care of at home.

My precious daughter and her husband became my hands and feet, providing incredible emotional and physical support, especially when it came to modifying our house for safety. I’ll admit, for a while, our home felt a bit like a maximum-security prison, and I was the warden. We installed security cameras, locking gates to prevent falls, and specialized exterior locks to stop his wandering escapes.

Through it all, I became profoundly grateful for the living, breathing family of Christ. My church small group beautifully mirrored Galatians 6:2: “Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

They showed up and proved the reality of Romans 12:5—that we, though many, are one body in Christ. They welcomed us with open arms until my husband could no longer walk or find the mental capacity to socialize. Even then, they never stopped loving us. They prayed, stayed in touch, and sat with him just so I could run errands or make it to my own appointments.

One of the primary characteristics of Lewy Body Dementia is frequent falling. After helping my husband up one too many times, I ended up with a torn rotator cuff. I needed repair surgery on my right shoulder—and yes, I am very right-handed. Don’t you just love how God always comes through right on time? He perfectly arranged for respite care for my husband the very day before my surgery. The six-week recovery that followed became yet another beautiful testimony of God’s provision and goodness.

During my caregiver training, I learned a staggering statistic: cCaregivers are 40%percent more likely to die before the person they are caring for. Remembering my spirit of tenacity, I thought, Oh no, not on my watch! I immediately upped my self-care.

At one point during my husband’s illness, I went seven straight months without a full night’s sleep. It took a toll on my mental and physical well-being. For over three decades, I have kept 1 Corinthians 6:19 on my business card: “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is within you...?” 

I have told my wellness clients for years, “We get to take care of our temporary temples until we get our permanent, maintenance-free ones!”

Going to a gym was a luxury I no longer had—both financially and time-wise—so YouTube workouts became my go-to “move it or lose it” activity. (I still absolutely love them!) In the earlier stages, my husband would even try to do some of the movements with me. To this day, I maintain three non-negotiable daily activities: quiet time with my loving, kind, everlasting Father, intentional exercise, and my “jet-fuel” nutrition.

Only God could have allowed me to sustain my business (which was “me-time,” not part-time) and host a weekly television show for three years. I’ll admit, recording those hour-long shows every Wednesday evening took an immense amount of improvising and planning. A pint of dairy-free ice cream became my secret weapon to keep my husband pacified while I was on camera!

I also made a point to invite friends and family over for dinners and holidays whenever possible. Even though my husband could no longer participate in games we used to love, having community around us kept us plugged into life.

Some of the hardest, heaviest moments—ones that still bring a sting of sadness to my heart—were when he was lucid enough to feel the weight of his reality. He would ask me through tears why God hadn’t healed him and express how much he hated what was happening to his mind and body. In those moments, all I could do was hold him and point us both back to the Cross.

When his time came, his “graduation” and homegoing to Heaven was peaceful, dignified, and profoundly respectful. Thanks to the incredible support of Hospice, alongside my daughter’s efforts and my own, we ushered him into eternity with Christian music playing 24/7, soothing essential oils in the air, and a blanket of loving prayers and conversations. 

Life after death is a brand-new season, and I never saw it coming quite so soon. The constant, 24/7 “high alert” adrenaline has finally subsided.

We all face major life transitions; some are far more painful and challenging than others. But God explicitly promises us in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”

My prayer for each of you is that you learn the holy art of “blessing and releasing.” And every single morning, when your feet hit the floor, I challenge you to reach your hands up toward the heavens and say with a smile:

“Yay, Lord! I am back. What do we get to do today, and how can I make You smile?”

Nancy White

Nancy White is a native Charlottean, and at age 74, she continues to age with strength and vitality as she continues to guide others to do the same.

Nancy White—The Healthy Cells Chick—is a beacon of wellness and financial empowerment. Dedicated to honoring healthy lifestyles, Nancy offers preventative living and natural alternatives. With over three decades in research, she supports all ages and stages: Moms, Dads, caregivers, and entrepreneurs seeking growth and additional revenue streams for enhanced well-being. Her Amazon best seller, The G.R.T. Journal, and other works highlight her expertise in personal growth.

Through her business since 2007, Nancy has impacted lives globally via her TV show and community efforts. Inspired by personal loss, her mission is to empower health, honoring her mother’s vibrant legacy. Nancy’s transformative guidance in holistic health nourishes mind, body, and spirit, celebrating aging with vitality.