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Surrender
Updated: Aug 30
By Dawn Montri
Surrender. Say it again… Surrender. Just saying that word feels like a weight has been lifted, and yet how often we struggle to surrender. I never realized how much I struggled until the weight of the world was being piled on top of me; I was truly being crushed.
In the year 2020, the virus changed everything about how we lived life. COVID struck and lasted
into 2021 and beyond. That was the year my father-in-law suffered a stroke, my brother, who had battled Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, came down with COVID, and our second grandbaby was born prematurely, her mom testing positive for COVID and requiring an emergency C-section.
I prayed every night, telling God to help me stay strong through all of it, but I just continued to feel weak. It was heavy and never-ending. I was exhausted and stressed to the limit.
My brother ended up passing away after five weeks in the ICU. The guy who beat cancer was
unable to beat the virus. I hit rock bottom. I had never in my life suffered that kind of grief. He was my big brother, my hero.
I fell into a dark place. I was angry with God, feeling He had left me. The Bible says in Hebrews 13:5 (KJV), “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” In Matthew 28:20 (NIV), Jesus says, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.”
I knew these verses, but I felt abandoned. If God were with me, why was I suffering like this? If He keeps His promise to carry our burdens, why am I feeling so weighed down?
Sitting down to visit with a friend, telling her how I was feeling abandoned by God, she said this
simple sentence: “Dawn, God never leaves us. But He asks us to surrender.” She quoted Psalm
55:22, “Cast your burdens upon the Lord, and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.” Continuing, she said, “God is working; he never stops working, but you have got to let go. Put your burdens in an imaginary box, and place it at His feet—surrender.”
Surrender—it isn’t always easy, but that is what God calls us to do. I heard what my friend was so lovingly telling me, but it was so hard. Then I realized that my inability to surrender was the same as telling God that I don’t trust Him, and that I don’t believe He keeps His promises. Perhaps because in my life, I had often suffered from promises unkept, which caused me pain. But here was God, my Creator, who promised He would never leave or abandon me, and I was refusing to surrender.
My father passed away when I was only three and a half years old. To a child that age, I perhaps felt abandoned, although too young to fully understand. As an adult, after this chat with my friend, I thought maybe this inability to believe that God would keep His promise to never abandon me stemmed from that abandonment of losing my dad.
My heart ached as I thought of this. How could I not believe that the God who loved me enough to lay down His Son’s life was there for me even in the pain? He says in Psalm 23:4 (KJV), “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.”
Friends, believe in His promises. You haven’t been abandoned. Lay down your burdens. He
promises to carry them for you. Fall into His arms and let Him comfort you.
In the autumn, the leaves fall from the trees, but in the spring, they return with the beauty of fresh green leaves. God promises to make all things new; He promises to take your pain and use it for your good. Jeremiah 29:11(NIV) says, “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This new season is upon us; the trees are letting go of the leaves, and as you watch them slowly fall to the ground, imagine each is a burden you are carrying, and feel the weight lifted.
Tonight, when you lay your head on your pillow, let it all go and sleep in His peace, knowing our God is working in your favor; all you have to do is turn it all over to Him and surrender. God promises to give us rest. Jesus tells us in Matthew 11:28 (NIV), “Come to me, all you who are burdened and I will give you rest.” God never left me. He kept his promise, He sustained me, and He held me—and I am here today because of it.
The Happy Farmwife
Dawn Montri enjoys life on a farm with her husband and her cat. She has a blog, “The Meandering Mind of a Happy Farmwife.” She is writing her first novel titled Flowers Can Bloom Through Ashes. You can read more of her writing at Be Blessed.
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