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I shudder to think about the things I did to be popular. The ways in which I compromised
myself, hoping that other people would lift my damaged self-esteem up from the
ground. Other people who I would later discover were just as broken as I was.
I smoked like a chimney. Cursed like a sailor. Drank like a fish. And I sold myself out to
boys who were not worth my time.
But as long as I was the popular party girl, I was living it up! Everybody knew me, and I thought I had it all figured out. But I had no joy, no peace, no hope, and no future.
The popular party girl was my life B.C.
Life took me from Trinidad to Holland to Houston, Texas. Then came Jesus. The day I surrendered to Him, I was a bawling lump on the bedroom carpet. When I stood up, I sensed something had changed. The things I used to do were no longer what I wanted to do. During my first trip back to Trinidad after Jesus entered my life, it was crystal clear – something had definitely changed. My old party friends from my old stomping grounds were nowhere to be found. Nobody wanted to hang out with the “Jesus Girl”. I was suddenly unpopular.
The more I got called into ministry life, talking about Jesus and sharing His Word, the more different I realized I was becoming. Even some family members kept their distance because their worldly ideologies clashed with my Biblical worldview.
But here’s the incredible thing, I have never felt less lonely! I have never been more certain of my God-given identity. Today, being unpopular because of Jesus gives me more joy, more peace, an immense hope, and a secure future!
And don’t think for a second that it’s because my life
is now perfect. Far from it! Since coming to Christ, I have had two spine surgeries, suffered tragic losses, experienced bitter heartache and disappointment in church and ministry, and faced the devastation of our son’s mental illness diagnosis.
Being unpopular for Jesus gives me strength, joy, and peace in everything I face. A heavenly perspective when so many are looking to the world for comfort.
Too many women today are struggling to be relevant, to be liked, to be popular. Both on and off social media, what people think seems to be more important than what God says. Here’s the truth; it’s not.
Too many women are trapped on the hamster wheel of people pleasing and languishing under the veneer of perfectionism because they are trying to go along with a fickle and brutal crowd.
The crowd that cheered, “Hosanna!” as Jesus made His triumphal entry in Matthew 21 is the same crowd that yelled, “Crucify Him!” in Matthew 27. Following the crowd will suck our spirits dry and we’ll have nothing to show for it.
But if we follow Jesus, if we take the narrow road, if we are willing to be unpopular for Him, we will find freedom, joy, peace, a love like no other, and so much more!
There are women in Scripture whose stories have so much to teach us. Some of them, like Delilah and Jezebel, were justifiably unpopular. Their stories challenge us to examine our hearts and our motives.
Some of them, like Rahab, were unpopular for the right reasons, just as I want to be. Rahab, in the Book of Joshua, recognized the unquestionable sovereignty of God and bravely went against her people to be joined with Israel.
If we want to follow Jesus, not the crowd, we need to choose Jesus first and always.
The liberation I have experienced in not needing to impress anyone has been life changing. All I want to be is a fragrant offering to God. Does it mean that I always get it right? Of course not! But when I stumble, I take it to Jesus in prayer and I don’t have to worry about how I look to others.
In Galatians 1:10, Paul said, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am
I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
The beautiful truth for you and me is that we have nothing to prove that Jesus hasn’t already proven on the cross. And when we are a fragrant offering to Him, we will surely be attractive to those who matter.
Jesus is everything we need for acceptance, validation, belonging, vindication, and love.
And when Jesus comes first in our lives, our relationships, the ones that count, blossom.
Daring to be unpopular for Jesus is not as risky as the world would have us believe. In
fact, the rewards are far greater.
We are chosen, loved, and known by Jesus Christ Himself. If that’s what being unpopular looks
like, we must embrace it with joy!
Tischa van de Reep is the author of Unpopular: Following Jesus, Not the Crowd, a 7-session Bible study available on amazon.com. Tischa is a Trinidad-born writer and speaker married
to Harald, a Dutchman. She is a mental health and autism mom who brings authenticity and vulnerability to all her teachings on Scripture. Her Bible study ministry brings diverse women together in fellowship and takes them deeper into God’s Word with her fresh insight and dynamic delivery.
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