What Do You Do With the Cards You’ve Been Dealt?

by Myra Johnson

“Some patterns are inherited quietly.

Ways of thinking and reacting.

Ways of loving, hiding, surviving… even hurting.

But what if generational curses are not fixed destinies—only patterns waiting to be noticed, challenged, and changed?

Transformation begins with truth.

You cannot begin to heal wounds you refuse to acknowledge.

With a mindset of stewardship, strength, and wisdom gifted by the Holy Spirit, and an approach anchored in faithful love, we can build a new legacy.”

_______________________________________________________________________________________

What would happen if we approached our family history the same way?

Not from a place of fear, shame, or even pride—but from a commitment to the power of shared awareness, truth, and knowledge. 

I’ve always been fascinated by legacy—maybe because I know so little about mine.

I remember my grandparents, but I never met theirs. I was raised by my mother and met my father only a few times before he passed. There’s so much I don’t know. No deep family tree, no rich history to reference. Just fragments of consequence. 

So the only “radius of time” I can truly study… is my own life.

My childhood. My experiences. The patterns I’ve witnessed unfold in real time.

And when you live a life without context, you asking deep questions often:

Who am I? Why am I wired this way? Why does something feel so natural to me, while something else feels unbearable?

When I think about generational curses, I don’t picture something mystical. I see patterns… repeated behaviors, beliefs, and responses that quietly infiltrate interactions, choices, beliefs and behaviors.

Some bring harm.Some bring connection.And many go unquestioned.

1. Seek Awareness and Truth

Scripture makes it clear: Wisdom begins with listening.

“Listen to advice and accept instruction, that you may gain wisdom…” (Proverbs 19:20)

Awareness is where transformation starts. Not everything we’ve inherited needs to be carried forward.

And sometimes, truth comes through the voices of others.

Both giving and receiving feedback requires a great deal of courage, and the Bible calls us to  work together in unity, which requires safe exchanges and interactions. 

We’re told to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) and to be quick to listen, slow to speak (James 1:19). Even when correction stings, it’s a data point—a resource—that we reflect on, pray about, and seek God's face to discover if and how it’s meant to refine us.

The ability to both talk and listen, to remain curious and receptive, and to prioritize learning and growth is far more effective and nurturing than power-and-pride plays.

2. Choose Alignment Daily

Breaking patterns rarely happens in one dramatic moment.

It happens in the quiet space between what you feel and how you respond.

Romans 8 reminds us that there is a difference between living according to the flesh and living according to the Spirit. One leads to destruction, the other to life and peace.

That means this is a daily decision: We have the option to plant seeds in alignment with the Spirit or the flesh. 

Not a one-time declaration; we have the gift of free will. And we need every single opportunity to choose again and again…

3. Practice Resilient Grace

Change is a process. Like training a muscle, you build capacity over time.

And along the way, it’s absolutely normal and valuable to fall short.

Galatians 6 reminds us not to grow weary in doing good, because in due time, we will reap a harvest if we don’t give up.

Grace is something we must learn to accept and apply repeatedly to ourselves… and to others.

It builds endurance, allowing us to stay resilient and develop grit. 

4. Commit to Curiosity and Growth

It takes humility to admit: I don’t know everything.

But that posture is deeply biblical.

Constructive feedback, when given with love, is not rejection.

Our natural instinct is to defend or dismiss when someone tells us we’ve hurt them. Feelings of shock, shame, discomfort, denial, and even anger can flood our minds, prompting a fight-or-flight response. 

But what if we saw those moments differently?

What if we received them as an act of courage and generosity? A show of trust in the relationship? A demonstration of value and investment? 

When we pause, breathe, and truly listen (especially when it stings), we create safety. We model having difficult conversations while experiencing strong emotion.

We build relationships where people never have to choose between honesty and love.

And that has the power to change lives and generations. 

5. Trust the Power of the Holy Spirit

As believers, heirs of Christ, sons and daughters of the most high King, we don’t do this alone.

Even when we feel confident in ourselves and our ability to change, we can place our faith, hope, and belief in the Spirit of God—the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead.

That Spirit lives in us; it gives our body life. It guides us, strengthens us, and even intercedes on our behalf. 

Romans 15 reminds us that God fills us with hope, joy, and peace as we trust in Him, not in our own ability.

So we absolutely do what we can, and at the same time trust that God will do what we cannot, in His timing, according to His plan.

A Different Way to See It

Maybe a generational curse isn’t something you’re doomed to carry.

Maybe it’s a pattern waiting to be noticed and interrupted.

You may not be responsible for what came before you. But with God, you are equipped and empowered to take responsibility for what comes next. And that changes everything.

Because when you choose awareness over avoidance, humility over pride, and Spirit over flesh…

You don’t just change your life, you change your legacy. 

Myra Johnson

Myra Johnson is a Houston-based executive consultant, producer, and arts advocate with over 17 years of experience helping organizations grow, innovate, and connect deeply with the communities they serve. As CEO of Ephesus Investments, Myra leads 6-month and annual executive-level engagements, serving as a strategic advisor, interim leader, or embedded partner to guide organizations through growth, transition, and transformation. Her firm also provides coaching for CEOs and senior leaders in operations, strategy, storytelling, creative campaigns, and community engagement.