Prayed Out: What’s Going on When Prayer Won’t Come?

By Jenny Foster

Anna wakes up to a cold house, making the blankets too cozy to abandon. She tries to start her morning prayers, but the text alerts on her phone are vibrating impatiently.

“I’m sorry, God. I’ll try again later.” 

Anna works in a chaotic office that feels incompatible with prayer, but she tries again on her commute, only to be interrupted by a phone call. Slipping into the house before anyone notices, she locks herself in the bathroom, hoping to pray again, but the kids are pounding on the door, asking, “What’s for dinner?” After a long day, Anna can’t wait for the sanctuary of her bed. At 11:15 p.m., she begins to pray one last time. 

“Hi, Jesus. Are you there? It’s me.” 

As she fights to stay awake, her prayer begins in earnest, but she feels guilty for putting Jesus last on her list. Wordless, Anna feels stuck. Prayer paralysis sends her off to sleep, and another day has passed for Anna without meaningful prayer. 

You may not see yourself in Anna’s story, but you may recognize these common feelings and behaviors that hinder prayer.

.Avoidance of prayer can look like procrastination. Perhaps we’re carrying unconfessed sin that can affect our openness and confidence to approach the throne. Self-reliance or pride often whispers, “We’ve got this.” Remember Jonah, who avoided God’s directives by fleeing in the opposite direction from Nineveh? He couldn’t hide from God, and neither can we. Jesus is our mighty counselor, and He wants us to come as we are

A sense of pressure can arise if we’ve internalized a performance-based view of prayer. This often comes from our upbringing or from feeling self-conscious if we’ve received messages suggesting we’re “doing it wrong.” If prayer feels like a test, resistance often follows. We must remember that prayer is not an evaluation, but a relationship. 

Distraction is at an all-time high. Society rewards us for being present at work, on our phones and computers, rather than being present with God. Without solid boundaries and intentionality, the world sets us up for a wandering mind, impatience, disordered priorities, and the opposite of stillness. Remember Martha from Luke 10:38-42, who was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made? Jesus showed her that Mary’s choice to sit still at His feet was the better choice. 

Discomfort can arise when we sit down to pray. It might show up as guilt or conviction, anxiety, depression, or simply awkwardness. Sometimes it feels like numbness, an inability to find words, exhaustion, or even burnout. We may hesitate to pray because we’re acutely aware of our own sin. Discomfort can short-circuit our spiritual intimacy with God. When exhaustion is part of the picture, rest itself can become a deeply spiritual act.

Distance can be the unfortunate result of not dealing with discomfort. It can create long gaps in prayer and a sense of emotional separation from God. Yet His mercies are new every morning, and Isaiah 59:1 reminds us that “Surely the arm of the Lord is not too short to save, nor his ear too dull to hear.” Push past the gap and talk to Him, and He will bridge the distance. 

Spiritual opposition from the enemy is more common than we realize. When it arises, pray anyway. The Holy Spirit dwells within us, empowering us to overcome. Use the Sword of the Spirit—the Word of God—by reading scripture aloud and putting on the full armor of God as protection against the spiritual forces of evil. Lean on the strength of others by asking them to pray with you. Often, prayer feels hardest precisely when it’s needed the most.

Silence from God can be discouraging. David wrote prolifically asking God questions like, “How long will you hide your face from me” (Psalm 13:1)? Sometimes God is silent because we are right where He wants us. Other times, His silence speaks volumes, and it spurs us to press in and seek Him more deeply. God’s silence is not punitive. Continue praying even when God seems silent.

If you relate to some or all of these obstacles to prayer, know that you are not alone. Awareness is often the first step toward renewal. Ask God to search your heart for anything that might be getting in the way of comfortable prayer (unforgiveness is a common issue). When prayer still feels difficult, here are four simple actions you can take.

• Start with one sentence like, “God, I want to pray, but I don’t know how.”

• Call out with just one word: “Jesus.”

• Read a Psalm out loud.

• Silence is an acceptable form of prayer. 

Author: Author and speaker, Jenny Foster is passionate about helping people move from adversity to inspiration. The Lord called her to write a book and build an abortion healing ministry. She enjoys traveling, reading, mentoring, creative writing, and Bible journaling. You can reach Jenny at https://www.jennyfoster.org/ or author@jennyfoster.org