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At a stage in life when I thought I’d be winding down, preparing for retirement, and embracing a season of relaxation, I find myself navigating a very different reality—caring for my aging parents. This transition began gradually as they aged, losing the ability to do things they once handled with ease. It has also brought a slow and painful progression of memory loss, something we often attribute to the juggling act of life.
As part of the "sandwich generation," I find myself caring for young grandchildren while also overseeing the needs of my parents, who now reside in assisted living. Though they are not physically in my home, the responsibilities remain significant. This delicate balance became even more complex with my father’s recent diagnosis of oral cancer. Now, I navigate not only their day-to-day needs but also the emotional and logistical challenges of his treatment plan.
It feels as though the roles have reversed. I’ve stepped into the parenting role, advising them on what I believe is best and making decisions that affect their well-being. This shift is daunting. There’s a constant undercurrent of anxiety—fear that I’ll make the wrong choice, that I’ll act too hastily, or that my decisions will leave them unhappy.
Yet amidst the weight of responsibility, there’s an undeniable sense of honor. I feel privileged to be the child who can shoulder this role, ensuring my parents receive the care they need while maintaining their dignity.
The transition, however, has not been easy for any of us. My parents, who were once my advisors and pillars of wisdom, now find themselves relying on me—a reversal that brings its own emotional challenges. I know they feel the sting of losing control, and it’s reflected in our difficult conversations, often charged with emotion and resistance.
Interestingly, the approach I’ve taken with them mirrors how I care for my young granddaughters. I try to offer choices—options that are both good for them and acceptable to me—allowing them to feel a sense of agency. This delicate balance between guidance and empowerment has been essential in preserving their sense of independence.
Throughout this journey, I’ve leaned heavily on my faith and the values my parents instilled in me as a child. Trusting in God’s plan gives me peace, reminding me that I am not carrying this burden alone. While the responsibility feels immense, I know it is part of a greater purpose and divine timing.
Watching your parents age and approach the end of their lives is one of life’s most heart-wrenching experiences. Yet, it has taught me to cherish the time we have left—to create new memories while revisiting old ones. The laughter and love from the past blend with the moments we share now, creating a bittersweet tapestry of connection.
Still, the weight of responsibility can overshadow the intention to fully cherish these moments. My daily prayer is for the strength to remain present, to embrace the time I have with them, and to honor the legacy they’ve built with grace and love.
Through it all, I’ve learned this: even in the midst of challenge, there is beauty. There is beauty in serving those who once served you, in finding laughter through tears, and in walking this path with faith, courage, and unwavering love.
Dawn Candy is an entrepreneur, a community leader, and an avid volunteer
for causes near and dear to her heart. After
experiencing several life-changing events, and each time rising above her circumstances, Dawn began to share her experiences with her community to create
awareness of subjects rarely discussed.
Fueled by the passion to help others avoid the pain and suffering she has experienced, she understands how powerful sharing her story can be for herself and others. Using her voice, Dawn welcomes the opportunity to speak to groups large and small to equip and empower them to rise above the challenges life throws their way to live a life beyond overcoming, a life of thriving. For more information, please visit https://www.thesisterhoodmag.com/dawn-candy
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