What Forty Days Taught Me About Prayer

By Tieler Giles

I had lunch with a friend last fall, and during our last few moments, standing in the parking lot, she said to me, “I’m doing this 40-day prayer challenge and would love for you to join me.” She quickly texted me a link to the book by Freeda Bowers. I told her I would pray about it. But I knew, even as I drove home, that this was something I needed to do. I went on to complete the 40 days, which took me about 45 days. And it was during this time that God opened my eyes to prayer in new, transformative ways. 

The power of praying for others

I’ll admit, praying for others has often taken a back seat to my own prayers. But during those 40 days, my focus expanded to include six loved ones: one searching for a job after a spring layoff, one walking through grief, one facing a mental health challenge, one navigating a relocation, one struggling with difficulties at work, and another feeling stuck and uncertain about the future.

Often, when I’m praying for myself, it’s easy to slip into trying to be my own solution; to get ahead of God or “help” him out a little. But when I was interceding for someone else, there wasn’t much I could do. All I had was faith that God would show up and do something. And he did. God answered every one of those prayers, including a job offer that came just days before the challenge ended.

I learned something simple but lasting: I really can pray, and then keep moving forward, trusting God with the outcome.

Facing not removing the hard stuff

The prayer I’m most used to praying is the one that asks God to move the hard thing out of the way. To fix it. Remove it. But during those 40 days, I began to realize there’s another kind of prayer; one that isn’t about doing away with the difficult thing, but simply asking, “Lord, will you carry it?” I learned that sometimes, God invites us to face and feel the hard things so that we can be honest with ourselves and with him. 

As I wrote in my journal one morning, “All this pretending is taking my energy. Acting like I’m okay. God, I’m angry. I’m upset. At this point, it just feels easier to give up than believe.” 

Those hard places were the very things God wanted to surface to begin the work of healing and restoration. The grief, disappointment, and loss we carry are real. And in my case, the path to peace hasn’t come from seeing certain circumstances change just yet, but from trusting that God is willing to carry the hardest part with me.

Waiting produces fruit

As I sought the Lord daily, something quietly beautiful began to happen. My need for answers and immediate outcomes began to quiet. I also realized I didn’t feel compelled to do something because in many ways, praying was the doing. We live in a world marked by constant striving, where we must be working through something at all times. Or constantly making something happen. But I noticed God began to quiet my soul.

Was this stillness? The stillness Psalm 46:10 speaks of: “Be still, and know that I am God”? Was this the rest for my soul that Jesus promised in Matthew 11:28-29? Yes, it was.

I’m grateful to my friend Melia for the invitation to join her—and God—during the 40-day prayer challenge. Perhaps it’s not surprising that some longings and questions remain after the 40 days. And yet, there is more peace and contentment. I’ve come away more aware of God’s nearness, and with a deeper awe of his goodness and grace.

Perhaps that’s the invitation prayer always offers: not to fix our lives, but to offer them to God, trusting how deeply he desires to meet us right where we are.

Tieler Giles

Author: Tieler Giles is an author, coach, and communications leader on a mission to help people live well and do good. For nearly 20 years, she’s helped organizations clarify who they are, what they do, and why it matters. Tieler believes that properly defining your identity and purpose isn’t just for institutions—it’s vital for the Christian life. In her debut book How to Ditch the How-To, she supports change-seekers on their journey to becoming who God has called them to be. Tieler is convinced that the gospel of Jesus is the best news ever, with the power to transform lives, culture, and the world around us. She currently lives in Charlotte, NC.