When Talking to God Feels Too Hard

By Kirsten D Samuel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N4l2lwj4ZE

She sits alone, staring out the window. The Bible lies open on her lap, but the words blur. All she feels is emptiness. Loneliness.

Glancing down, she tries to read a few more lines. What’s the use? Nothing makes sense. The words feel dusty. She’s tried to pray, but no one seems to hear. Maybe God doesn’t care anymore…or maybe He never did.

“God, where are You?” Tears spill onto the open page. “Why won’t you answer me? I can’t go on like this any longer. I don’t want to.”

Dropping her head in defeat, she whispers, “Jesus, where are You?”

And then, quietly, she hears a question rise in her heart: “Who do you say I am?”

Did she believe God was who He said He was—or didn’t she? There was nothing left to try.

Nothing left to give. In sheer desperation, she cried out, “Jesus, I believe. Help my unbelief.”

Sometimes prayer feels like throwing words into the wind, hoping they somehow stick.

I remember those dark days as if they were yesterday.

Words wouldn’t come, but my heart screamed its pain. My soul cried desperately for God. Life hurt. The only words that made sense to me were found in the Psalms. I resonated deeply with David’s raw cries for relief, his honesty about suffering, and his refusal to pretend everything was fine.

Prayer? I couldn’t follow the prescriptive formulas I’d been taught—ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication—or any other neatly packaged prayer method. They felt wooden. Lifeless. I didn’t need a system. I needed God to become real to me again.

I also carried guilt. I’d been told kneeling was important to prayer, but it was physically painful for me to do so. What did it really mean to “pray without ceasing”? That phrase alone felt overwhelming. And then there were the smaller things—do you pray about finding a good parking spot or asking God to heal your sick dog? I’d heard that a true Christian wouldn’t do anything without praying first. The rules felt endless. And confusing.

One day, while journaling, something shifted. Without intending to, I began writing an imaginary conversation with God. I poured out my frustration, sadness, and questions as King David did in Psalm 40 in the New Living Translation, which starts with, “I waited patiently for the Lord to help me, and he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the pit of despair, out of the mud and the mire. He set my feet on solid ground and steadied me as I walked along.” I later learned this type of pouring out was called lament—but at the time, it was simply honesty.

And something miraculous happened.

For the first time in months, I sensed God’s quiet voice responding.

As I continued journaling my prayers, Scripture passages came to mind—sometimes in direct response to my questions or cries for help. I sensed God sitting with me, not fixing or correcting, but listening. I’d write what I felt Him saying and then immediately wonder if I’d made it all up.

Yet God kept meeting me there.

Again and again, He impressed His words of love, grace, and mercy on my heart through those pages.

To this day, I journal my prayers. They’re often disjointed. There’s no set structure. Just an honest conversation with my Abba Papa. I imagine sitting with Him the way I once sat with my earthly dad—safe, heard, unhurried. This simple, relational way of praying has comforted my soul and helped me recognize God’s voice in ways I never thought possible.

From one prayer struggler to another, please don’t give up.

Tell God how hard it feels to talk to Him. Tell Him what you’re afraid to say. Let Him meet you in your own way, not someone else’s formula. Allow Him to show you how you communicate best with Him. Jesus told us to keep on asking, keep on knocking, keep on seeking (see Matthew 7). God desires a relationship with you. He wants your questions, your fears, your hopes, your anger, your joy—all of you.

If you feel lost, unheard, or simply need a safe place to process your struggles, I’d love to come alongside you. I promise to hear your heart without judgment. This free, no-pressure session gives you space to share your story and take one gentle step toward a freedom-filled future. 

Kirsten D. Samuel

Author: Christ-centered coach Kirsten D. Samuel helps women encounter God’s relentless love and find hope after marital betrayal, sharing from her and her husband’s journey of marital redemption. Featured on Focus on the Family, she invites women to embrace healing, grace, and God’s faithfulness. Connect at KirstenDSamuel.com or YT.