Abiding is Continuous

One evening in 2006, I sat at the edge of my bed looking at the ruins of what used to be my marriage. As I surveyed the debris, I wondered how I got to this moment. I looked back on the last several years of my life and saw a gradual pulling away from Jesus, followed by the slow erasure of my identity. The answer stared me down. I knew what I needed to do. It was time to return to my faith-based roots. It was time to return to Jesus. 

My return was gradual and honestly unfocused until my mother moved in with me. It was unfathomable to her that I did not have a church home, so she led the way in looking for one.

One Sunday morning, several months into attending services at our new church home, I responded to an altar call to return to the Lord. I walked down the aisle and officially recommitted my life to Jesus. When we got home that afternoon, my mother handed me a little book called The True Vine by Andrew Murray. “Read this.” She said, “It will help guide you on your journey with the Lord.” It was a 31-day devotional that took an in-depth look at John 15:1-16. 

I accepted Mum’s gift without expectation but determined to complete it. Every day, for 31 days, I woke up and worked through my devotional. The first three days laid the groundwork (John 15:1-2) 

1. Jesus is the Vine  

2. God is the Gardener

3. We are the branches

   
   

By the end of the study, I felt disappointed it was over. But I pridefully brushed off my shoulders and thought, “Yeah, I got this!” All I needed to do was abide in Jesus, which would produce good fruit. As for pruning, I would submit myself to God, and He would trim what didn’t belong in my life. Easy, right? Yes, pruning would be painful, but I severely underestimated how painful it would be. 

What I didn’t know was that the end of my theoretical study was the beginning of my practicum. Jesus invited me on a journey with Him, which, had I known the entire syllabus, I likely would have said, “No, thank you!” Looking back, the beginning of my practicum had begun shortly before I started the devotional. 

Mum moved in with me in 2008, after a 2006 cancer diagnosis. Upon her arrival, I found an oncologist to continue her treatment. And so began four years of being a caregiver. The first two years were good. I kept up with my quiet time, and Mum was doing well — until she was not. The cancer had spread, and treatment had to be increased.  

Between my 60-hour-per-week job, managing Mum’s healthcare needs, and getting her to all her appointments, I had little to no downtime. Most days, we left the house by 7 am for an 8 am appointment, getting home with a few hours to spare before I headed to work the second shift. I would be home by 1:30 am for a few hours of sleep, only to do it again the next day. I was physically tired and emotionally fraught. My quiet time became sporadic, which inevitably produced rotten fruit. One day, my siblings visited, and I lost my temper with them. 

As if on cue, my cousin Shami called, and I confessed my anger. She said, “Brenda, you cannot wait until you spiral out of control before you go to the Lord. Your time with Him must be non-negotiable.” The Lord used her to remind me of what I had learned a couple of years earlier: “I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.” John 15:5 (CSB) 

That reminder was like a cold towel on a hot day. How quickly the everyday cares of life had shifted my priorities. Jesus, in His mercy, invited me to come away. It was the same invitation He extended to the disciples after they returned from the two-by-two missions He had sent them on. 

“Jesus said to them, ‘Come away with me. Let us go alone to a quiet place and rest for a while.’ Many people were coming and going. They could not even eat. So, they went away in a boat to a lonely place by themselves.” Mark 6:31-32 (WE)

I apologized to my siblings, and then my friend Chaustine whisked me away into the heart of downtown Chicago. We spent the day eating good food, book browsing, strolling along the lake, and people watching. By the time we got home, I felt refreshed. 

Like the disciples, my circumstances didn’t change after my respite. I still had to go to work and manage Mum’s medical needs, but coming away to rest with Him was no longer optional, whether it was for 5 minutes, 30 minutes, or a whole day. I could not afford not to “come away”.

Abiding in the True Vine was my lifeline, and disconnection meant a slow death. 

As years went on, my circumstances shifted. Sometimes they were better, other times they were worse, but time with Him was non-negotiable. I have learned and am continuing to learn that abiding in Him has different iterations. 

• Daily, it’s spending time with Him, whether in prayer, in the Word, or in silence. 

• Weekly, it’s stopping all work and physically resting.

• Seasonally, it’s trusting Him in life’s challenges, from financial to medical and everything in between. 

  
  

Ultimately, it’s that abiding is continuous. It’s never-ending unless we choose to leave His dwelling place, thereby coming out of His shadow (Psalm 91:1). Jesus’ invitation for us to come away is not for a season; it’s an abiding. What He has invited us into is the beginning of what our relationship with Him will look like for eternity. After all, we will dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalm 23:6).

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About the Author: Brenda Savanhu was born in Harare, Zimbabwe. She spent the first half of her childhood in England and the second in Zimbabwe before moving to the United States at 18.  Growing up, she always had a book in hand, finding solace in the worlds of Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot. Brenda discovered her faith in her teen years but drifted away from her walk with Jesus until her early 30s when life's circumstances sent her hurtling back into His arms. 

Brenda is the author of Memorial Stones - A Guided Devotional Journal for Foundational Miracles in Your Life, which was born out of her return to Jesus and subsequent journey of faith from then until now.  Memorial Stones is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Google Play.