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In the wilderness, there is always a place to find rest. That place is at my dining room table, where I talk with God through my journal each morning. It’s where I begin my day and find peace in His presence. As you read on, I pray that you experience the amazing grace God has for you. I invite you to pull up a chair, join me at the table, and discover rest in His presence.
In a world filled with loud voices all around me, I hear the Lord’s whisper through the pages of my life. He reminds me of a moment when I was ten years old, sitting next to my grandpa with his guitar in hand and a microphone in mine. With his gentle farmer’s hands strumming, I began to sing “Amazing Grace.”
Now, as a 30-year-old woman sitting here with you today, I have the privilege to walk in the amazing grace He has freely given me. This grace has shaped my faith journey, guiding me through both the good and bad, and continually teaching me about the beauty of attaining grace.
Lost in the Wilderness
Two years ago, I walked through a wilderness of hope and hopelessness, feeling blind and lost, tangled in sin and deception. In my desperation, I cried out to the Lord, and He met me at my dining room table. As I wrote in my notebook, tears streaming down my face, I heard His voice for the first time singing, “You are sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when the skies are gray. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”
In God’s sweet presence, I was filled with indescribable joy and a tangible peace that wrapped around me like a blanket. That moment was transformative, and for the first time, I truly believed. I once was lost, but now I’m found; I was blind, but now I see.
The light exposed the darkness I was living in, and the lord rescued me from the shadows. He called me His sunshine. As I walked in faith, believing I was His sunshine, I knew hope existed for a bright future.
“The word from Heaven will come to us with dazzling light to shine upon those who live near death’s dark shadow. And he will illuminate the path that leads to the way of peace.” - Luke 1:78-79
Beauty from Ashes
Walking in that faith, I soon began to doubt. I was uprooted, needing to be stripped of the lies I believed. Testing and trials came like a strong wave, tossing me back and forth. I lost confidence and second-guessed myself and everything I did. Weary and walking through fire in my own strength, I faced moments that felt like hell. I believed a lie that I had to be perfect, opening the door to more lies.
I found myself rejecting who I was. The Lord was saving me from myself, from people-pleasing to manipulation to deception. I couldn’t even pray, paralyzed by fierce lies, but the Lord whispered to me again and again, “ You are my sunshine, daughter.”
Each time, he said, “ My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses so that the power of Christ can work through me.- 2 Corinthians 12:9
That was my hope. I believed by faith that the Lord was my light, that I was His, and He was mine. There was a process to go through, a time of purification, as described in Psalm 51, where He cleansed me. Psalm 51:10 says,” Create in me a clean heart, Oh God, and renew a loyal spirit within me.”
One day, at a prayer conference, I stood up to pray for new seeds of hope and life to be sown. As the conference ended and I was leaving the building, a man stopped me. He said, “Ma’am, I need to tell you something. As you prayed, I saw the altar behind you go up in flames and smoke. Once the smoke cleared, a pile of ashes with a green stem emerged from them.” The vision the man saw that day showed me that something fresh and vibrant was beginning out of the ashes of my hardship.
To all who mourn in Israel, he will give a crown of beauty for ashes, a joyous blessing instead of mourning, festive praise instead of despair. In their righteousness, they will be like great oaks that the Lord has planted for his glory. - Isaiah 61:3
Through the wilderness of darkness and suffering comes freedom. Drowning day in and day out, I clung to what God had stripped me of, unsure how to let go. God said,“ I have given you freedom; now go live it. You must believe it and know who you are in Christ Jesus. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Freedom
“Who am I?” I asked myself. “ I am a child of God,” I replied. I shouted, “ I am a child of God!” I repeated it until the lies vanished. The Holy Spirit descended upon me as I stood with outstretched hands, feeling warmth envelope me from head to toe. My spirit overflowed with His presence. God Called me His Bride at that moment, and I felt liberated. Trusting in God through faith brings true freedom, and as the verse goes,” Who the Son sets free is free indeed.”John 8:36
Dear Sisters,
My reflection beautifully encapsulates the journey of transformation and redemption. Walking with Christ often involves facing and overcoming various challenges, much like battles. Yet, through these struggles, His grace sustains and empowers you. “Amazing Grace” symbolizes God's unmerited favor and love that guides you through every trial, leading to spiritual growth and freedom in Christ. My journey, marked by battles and grace, reflects the profound truth that God’s grace is sufficient and ever-present in every difficulty.
“Freedom is to dream again.” As I walked in freedom, I rediscovered my ability to dream. I’d like to share my dream with you: envisioning the field in Heaven, akin to a rainbow-stunningly beautiful and sweet. I see children filled with joy and laughter, dancing and running freely through a field of wildflowers, their innocence and happiness creating an enchanting atmosphere. At the edge of the field, mothers hold bouquets, their smiles radiant with love and peace, with The Fathers’ love embracing them all.
Brittni Mann is a Certified Personal Trainer and Program Director Assistant for a nonprofit organization called The Demand Project (TDP) The TDP exists to eradicate human trafficking, online enticement, child sexual abuse material, and the commercial sexual exploitation of children. Brittni is a Prayer Warrior and enjoys fellowshipping with others in her community. She is also the mother of two children, whom she adores with all her heart. She enjoys spending time with her family and friends. She’s passionate about encouraging others. From sunrise to sunset, Brittni will tell you to “ Let your light shine!”
Contact Information: instagram.com/attaining_grace_ facebook.com/brittnigebhart-mann
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