Walk on Water or Sink

Our Perspective Makes the Choice

I was overflowing with joy the day I closed on my first home. My dear friend Deb was with me, and we were joined by my realtor and loan officer, who had quickly become friends. We all went to brunch, and I knew exactly what I wanted: chicken and waffles! Yep, that would mark the occasion. After brunch, we drove to my new home and Deb took pictures of me in front of my new purchase. I had achieved a significant part of the “American Dream”. Several days later, I moved in and started furniture shopping. Dreaming up the type of style that embodied who I am as I shopped for furniture was so much fun!

Piece by piece, I furnished the house, asking God about each item before purchasing it. I loved coming home from work because I could unwind in my own home! Between the down payment and furnishing a 4-bedroom house, I had depleted my savings. But I wasn’t worried. I knew how to buckle down and rebuild my savings. After all, I’d done it before. Twice a week, my evening routine included watering my flower bed. I was so happy in my new home. Ahh....life was good!

Well, at least that part of my life was good. Work had been challenging for months. I kept asking the Lord, “What should I do?” The answer came several months after buying my house. After praying and fasting, He told me to resign from my job. I did it trepidatiously and with the expectation that He would lead me to a new job almost immediately. I had never taken a step of faith like this before. Surely He would make sure I’d have a job within months. And surely He knew I only had enough saved for a few months—nothing beyond that. Right?!

I put my head down job hunting, but application after application, I wasn’t even getting interviews. I changed tactics. I had someone new rewrite my resume and networked with new people, but to no avail. After months of hitting my head against the wall, I finally decided to ask God what was up. His response was that I needed to stop looking for a job and rest. After some wrestling, I rested but that put me in a financial pickle. I had run out of money and couldn’t pay my bills, including my mortgage. Yep, the mortgage on my first home, the place I loved, was behind. I was devastated and embarrassed. I had never been in a situation like this before. 

Month by month, I would ask the Lord, what exactly He was doing. I would beg for relief from this financial pain. But it seemed as though He was silent. He would “speak” through friends who sent unexpected financial gifts. Eventually, I was approved for a mortgage forbearance plan. In the meantime, that put the mortgage collection calls on hold and gave me room to breathe. When the plan neared expiration, God delivered a job into my email inbox. Finally, I had His approval to apply for a job! I was interviewed and hired for the job. Hallelujah! 

The salary was a little over half of what I previously made. I asked God if He was sure this was the job for me. He said to take the job. I called the mortgage company to inform them of my employment, and they told me I could apply for refinancing. I applied and was denied. I didn’t make enough money. I needed to make at least 5% more to qualify. I was immediately told my house would go through the foreclosure process. Now a few months earlier, God had promised me I would not lose my house. So, I looked up and reminded Him of His promise. A friend I was chatting with about it suggested I tell my new boss what was going on. Perhaps she’d have a way to help. I swiftly heard, “Stop meddling!” from the Lord. So, I stopped.

Later, I received the notice of the impending foreclosure with an auction date and placed it on my coffee table. Opening that letter was one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced. 

The next day at work, I couldn't shake the image of the foreclosure notice. Riddled with anxiety, I got up from my desk and scurried into the prayer room, closed the door, and fell to my knees. Anxiety crept up my torso, encircled my neck, and clamped my head. My heart raced and my breathing quickened. Oddly, this felt quite familiar. While stifling, it was strangely comforting. Suddenly, the feeling stopped, and the Lord said, “Brenda, you have a choice right now. You can choose anxiety, or you can choose My peace.”

I was at a crossroads. 

Which perspective would I choose? 

The one where I’d lose my house or the one where God would fulfill His promise. 

Did I believe God or not?

I took a deep breath and said out loud, “I choose Your peace.” Immediately, the crouching anxiety fled, and I was engulfed in His peace that surpasses all understanding (Phillipians 4:7). I got up, fixed my face, and went back to work. Each evening, I looked at the foreclosure notice on my coffee table and reminded God of His promise. Then I would go to bed and sleep peacefully. 

Several weeks later, I was unexpectedly summoned to the Executive Director’s office. I was offered a promotion, and my raise would be 26% of my current salary which was significantly more than the 5% the mortgage company required for refinancing. I was ecstatic! God had come through and I wouldn’t lose my house! As soon as I got home that evening, I reapplied for refinancing—and a month before my house was scheduled for auction, my application was approved. Promise fulfilled!

Looking back on that experience, I couldn’t simultaneously believe and doubt God’s promise. It had to be one or the other. We see this in Matthew 14, 

“But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, ‘Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.’ And Peter answered Him and said, ‘Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.’ So He said, ‘Come.’ And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, ‘Lord, save me!’ And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, ‘O you of little faith, why did you doubt?’ ” (Matthew 14: 27-31, NKJV)

We can’t walk on water and sink at the same time. 

When Peter believed he could walk on water, he walked on water. When he doubted, he began to sink. He got to choose. We get to choose. 

What perspective do we have, God’s or the enemy’s?

The afternoon in that prayer room, God essentially told me to stop wavering; 

“My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways” (James 1:2-8, NKJV).

God took me through a trial that tested my faith, produced patience, and challenged me not to doubt His word. 

Peter believed he could walk on water. 

Walked on water. 

Took his eyes off Jesus. 

Doubted. 

And sunk.  

Had he kept his eyes on Jesus, he wouldn’t have sunk. (Isaiah 26:3)

I kept my eyes on Jesus in that storm by daily reminding God of His promise.  

Mark 4 gives us another account of Jesus, the disciples, a storm and a boat,

“But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, ‘Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?’

Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, ‘Peace, be still!’ And the wind ceased and there was a great calm.  But He said to them, ‘Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?’ ” (Mark 4: 38-40, NKJV)

My friend Shar asked one day, “Where on earth did Jesus get a pillow from?” We laughed but I later wondered, what would happen if rather than fretting in a storm, I grabbed my pillow and curled up in the boat next to Jesus? I posed this thought with my coach Nokihomis who said, “The external storm might rage on, but you’d be at peace.” 

Is it possible to sleep in the storm? Is it possible to have peace in the storm? If so, how? 

The following is how Holy Spirit guided me through my mortgage storm:

1. Stop and breathe.

2. Be aware of how your body feels when you are anxious or fearful.

3. Ask God to give you the feeling that embodies His peace.

4. As soon as you feel His peace, tell Him you receive it.

5. Make a daily declaration that is God’s promised outcome for your situation even though you have not seen it yet. But say it like you believe it! Keep your eyes on Jesus!

6. Rinse and repeat until the feeling of God’s peace becomes your norm in the storm.

   
   

Walk on water or sink. Your perspective makes the choice.   

Brenda Savanhu was born in Harare, Zimbabwe. She spent the first half of her childhood in England and the second in Zimbabwe before moving to the United States at 18.  Growing up, she always had a book in hand, finding solace in the worlds of Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie's Hercule Poirot. Brenda discovered her faith in her teen years but drifted away from her walk with Jesus until her early 30’s when life's circumstances sent her hurtling back into His arms. 

Brenda is the author of Memorial Stones - A Guided Devotional Journal for Foundational Miracles in Your Life, which was born out of her return to Jesus and subsequent journey of faith from then until now.  Memorial Stones is available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, and Google Play.  

You can connect with Brenda at the following places; 

Website:  brendasavanhu.com

Instagram: @brendasavanhu

Facebook: @thebrendasavanhu

LinkedIn: @brendasavanhu