When Strong Women Feel Small

What if hesitation isn’t obedience- it’s fear disguised?

I’ll never forget the moment I walked into the room.

A private gathering of women changing the world- authors, ministers, missionaries, ambassadors to the White House.

I was invited. Prayed for this. And still…

I walked in feeling like I needed to earn my seat.

I told myself to “play it cool,” to show up polished and professional. But underneath it?

I was measuring. Comparing. Shrinking.

Not because of anything they said- but because of what I still believed: “I have to prove I belong here.”

That day, God showed me something I’ll never forget: Seeing myself as less-than is still pride- it’s just flipped inward.

Whether I put myself above others or below them, I was still positioning. Performing. And it was blocking me from the thing I wanted most- connection.

Here’s what changed everything:

I stopped trying to show up as “the Peggy I thought I needed to be,” and started being the woman God created for that exact room, in that exact season.

No hustle. No hierarchy. Just holy confidence in surrender.

And the moment I did? I didn’t just feel peace- I felt free.

If you’ve ever felt called and still questioned your worth- you’re not alone.

You’ve said yes. You’ve stepped out. Maybe even launched the thing God put on your heart.

I know the pain of carrying a smile that doesn't reach your eyes.

For years, I wore a mask of perfection- hiding the childhood trauma I hadn’t yet faced.

It wasn’t until my 40s that I surrendered that pain to Christ and began the journey of true healing.

Now, I help women break free from the lies that hold them back and step into who God created them to be.

But the minute you walk into the room or share your voice- you start shrinking.

You spiral. Second-guess. You start thinking of ways to disappear again.

You’re not failing. You’re being transformed.

And transformation feels awkward at first- because fear always fights what it can’t control.

When God starts renewing your mind, the old thought patterns don’t just vanish.

They push back. LOUDLY!

That doesn’t mean you’re off track- it means truth is taking root.

This is the moment I tell my clients:

“Do it sweaty.”

Move forward even when your voice shakes.

Post it even when your palms are clammy.

Walk into that room even when your chest feels tight.

Courage isn’t the absence of fear- it’s refusing to let fear silence your obedience or stop you from moving.

You’re not stuck because you have no faith- you’re stuck because you were never meant to carry this alone.

You’re not disqualified- you’re being shaped for more than you can understand right now.

This isn’t about being flawed- it’s about being formed.

You’re being shaped into the likeness of Christ, and that takes both surrender and intention.

The swirl of thoughts isn’t proof you’re disobedient- it’s proof you’re still renewing your mind.

And that renewal builds capacity- for clarity, emotional regulation, and a Spirit-led mindset.

Paul understood this tension.

He wrote: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9, ESV).

God isn’t asking you to prove anything. He’s asking you to trust Him in your weakness- and show up anyway.

Confidence isn’t always loud. It’s anchored.

It looks like presence. Peace. Purpose. Even when your voice shakes.

Think of Esther. She didn’t walk in with certainty- she walked in with surrender.

“Perhaps you were made queen for such a time as this” (Esther 4:14, NLT).

She didn’t feel ready. But she moved anyway.

And because she moved, lives were saved.

Somewhere along the way, many of us were taught that obedience means staying quiet.

That if you’re visible, you’re self-promoting.

That if you raise your voice, you’re being prideful.

But here’s the truth: when God calls you to speak, it’s not for your spotlight- it’s for someone else’s breakthrough.

Visibility isn’t about you. It’s about your obedience opening doors for others.

Your obedience to God may be the answer to someone’s silent prayer. It could lead to her breakthrough.

You’re not the Redeemer- God is.

But in your surrender, He moves through you to build His Kingdom.

She can’t find you if you keep hiding behind fear or performance.

You don’t need to perform. You need to stand where God placed you- even if your legs are shaking.

You’re allowed to feel hesitant and still obey.

You’re allowed to walk slowly with God and still be completely in step with Him.

If you're wondering where to begin, here are three simple shifts I walk clients through when fear is loud and faith feels quiet:

1. Get honest with God.

Write the fear down. Name the lies. Don’t spiritualize your silence- bring it to Him raw.

God doesn’t need polished prayers. He wants to bring freedom to the places you’ve been hiding.

2. Anchor yourself in identity, not outcome.

Remind yourself: “I’m not called to be perfect- I’m called to be present.” Speak God’s Word over your emotions before you let your emotions speak over your actions.

3. Take one obedient step- and do it sweaty.

Show up in the room. Speak when He prompts. You don’t need to feel brave to be bold. You just need to move before fear talks you out of it.

If you're craving a safe place to process the thoughts you don’t feel like you can say out loud- even to God- I want to share something I’ve quietly been working on.

I’m preparing to release a new journal series called “You Can’t Say That,” coming soon to Amazon.

These guided journals are created to help you bring the real, unfiltered parts of your mindset before the Lord- and replace old lies with His truth, one surrendered page at a time.

The first journal, You Can’t Say That in Church, will be followed by others like You Can’t Say That to Your Spouse, …as a Parent, and …as a Leader.

Healing begins with what you're finally willing to bring to light.

If you’ve been holding back- this is your reminder:

You’re not too far behind. You’re right on time.

The women you admire? They had the same fear. The difference is- they moved anyway.

And so can you.

If you’re looking for a place to grow your courage, regulate your emotions, and take aligned, faith-filled action - you’re invited to join me at The Mindset School Podcast.

It’s where emotional intelligence meets Kingdom purpose. And where breakthrough starts from the inside out.

Listen now at www.themindsetschool.net/podcast or search The Mindset School Podcast on your favorite platform.

Because your 'yes' doesn’t have to be loud to change everything. It just has to be yours.

Peggy Easterling is a Christian Executive Coach and Founder of The Mindset School. She helps faith-driven women who’ve overcome trauma build emotional intelligence for their business, renew their mindset, and confidently walk in their God-given calling.

Website: www.themindsetschool.net

Host of The Mindset School Podcast with Peggy Easterling