Your His Favorite

“Your attempts to be good in your own strength are just as wicked as these girls going toward the prodigal side.” God’s whisper came through loud and clear as I wrestled through why He brought me to this women’s conference, where I was rather uncomfortably attending. Just a few days prior, I was pressing shirts in my garage for a customer as she shared her excitement about this event. I thought nothing about it but soon received a message from the organizer inviting me to attend with a free ticket. Since I didn’t know her, this was odd. I leaned in and sensed the Lord urging me to attend.

Once I settled into my seat, women began sharing their testimonies. Their stories ran the gamut and included abortion, jail, drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and more. All the while, prim and proper me was squirming in her seat. The sense of “I don’t belong here” was strong. So strong, I nearly left. In response, I tossed up a “Why on earth did you send me here, Lord?” prayer. As a former A student, teacher’s pet, “good girl,” I couldn’t relate to their stories. The Lord’s response to my prayer was the mic- drop line I shared above. Indeed, my attempts to be good in my own strength were just as wicked as the things being shared by these women. I saw it clearly now. It really messed with my head in the best way.

God healed so much self-righteousness, pride, and arrogance in me that weekend. I began to see myself and others through a new lens of love. Through grace glasses. Even though I had not done many of these things they shared, I was not better than, more righteous, or even “good” apart from Jesus. I may have grasped that at salvation, but every day after that, I had unfortunately reverted to my “good girl ways” of childhood. Sit still. Obey. Smile pretty. Earn praise. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

This revelation blew all that out of the water. Each woman at that event needed the same amount of grace, not just for salvation but to live the Christian life every day afterward.

What a gift.

Over the course of the weekend, I shared vulnerably, and by the end, I knew I belonged. I was in good company. As I dove deeper, I clearly saw it in the Prodigal Son story found in the Gospels. Let me catch you up in case you’re unfamiliar. The cast of characters includes two brothers

and a devoted father. The younger brother went off and squandered his inheritance on reckless living. When a famine hit, he wanted to live at least as well as the servants in his father’s home. Rehearsing his speech, he made his way back home. Instead of chastisement or a lecture, the father ran to him, embraced him, and proceeded to throw a party in his honor.

Meanwhile, the older brother was angry and didn’t want to celebrate the return of this wayward one. He certainly didn’t deserve a celebration. In response, the father tenderly lets the son know that he has always been present and that everything he had was already his.

Though the fruit may differ, both sons were living with a sense of orphan-heartedness. The younger, going the prodigal route, likely saw himself as “bad” and unworthy of forgiveness and love. The older brother missed out, too, though. In Luke 15:29-30, we hear his speech to his father:

“Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!” (ESV)

The older brother likely saw himself as “good.” Do you hear the disdain and sense of self-righteousness? Lots of nevers; never disobeying, never receiving a celebration, both of which were likely untrue. They both missed the boat.

His father wanted them to operate from sonship. To see themselves as loved and respond with

gratitude, connection, and trust instead of being rebellious or religious, as author and speaker Leif Hetland notes. Neither had to try to earn their way to the father’s love.

What about you? And me? If you have a prodigal history, do you struggle to receive God’s love and forgiveness, viewing yourself as “bad” or beyond hope? Or perhaps you see yourself as I did, “good,” counting our righteous deeds and hard work, deciding He must be so pleased with us and our holiness.

Either way, we miss it. Our behavior was never the basis for our Father’s love. That was settled at the cross when Jesus suffered, died, was buried, and rose again. At salvation, we exchanged our self-righteousness forHis righteousness. We are seen as spotless. We’re His beloved.

Operating from this sense of adoption, belonging, and acceptance leads to set-apart, righteous living. The difference now is that we know God’s acceptance of us is not because of anything we’ve done or left undone. It was never something we could possibly earn. It’s a grace gift.

Sister, if you are in Christ, you are no longer “bad” or “good.” You’re loved. Dearly loved.

A daughter of the King. The apple of His eye. So go ahead...smile big! After all, you’re His favorite!

Nicole Roth

Author: As a Health Restoration & Joy Coach, Nicole Roth empowers the “hard on herself” woman of God to heal the “ache she can’t shake.” In the process, women transform shame into joy and lies into love through a revelation of grace. Wife to David for over 20 years, mom to 3 young adult daughters, an autoimmune warrior of 20 years, and a former dietitian, Nicole is most at home in her kayak, out on a hiking trail with her dogs, in her hammock, or adventuring in her camper! The means Nicole uses to be a catalyst for change, healing, and growth include coaching, community, courses, and in-person nature adventures and retreats! Please visit nicoleroth.com to learn more.