In the depths of darkness, it can be difficult to move forward let alone find joy in our daily life. Carolyn Gray shares how starting the practice of journaling helped her process her grief and make positive changes in her life.
I was in a dark, sad, and lonely place for several months, literally “going through the motions.” My Mom passed away suddenly, only five weeks after being diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. My husband and my Mom were best buds so he was grieving too. No one was there to help me, not even my husband because I was trying to help care for him. I did not just lose my Mom I lost, my prayer partner, my theater partner, my shopping and traveling buddy, my confidante and my dear friend and honestly didn’t know what to do.
One night I was sitting in my living room in the dark and I realized I had too much to be grateful for to be so depressed and discouraged. I decided right then and there, that for the next year I would make a conscious effort to show gratitude to people, places, books, events, and things that over the years helped me become the person I am today.
Immediately, I grabbed a notebook, drew a line down the middle of a number of pages, and numbered them from 1 to 365. What a wonderful metamorphosis I discovered after only a few days. I was no longer sad or sitting in the dark, I was on a path to healing. I remembered the benefits of praying and journaling from my younger years. I literally wrote my grief away through being grateful and realized being sad and gratitude just could not coexist in my world.
As my memories of my earlier years came flooding back, I was energized and I took time to acknowledge each one. I expressed gratitude to my parents, siblings, relatives, mentors, books, places I had traveled or visited. One special memory that brought me joy was of a four-year-old student who gave me not one, but two hugs when he returned from spring break because I “missed my hug” the week before.
At the end of the year of journaling, my son suggested I publish it as a book. I respectfully said “no!” However, I did agree to his suggestion to publish my journal so I would forever have a copy. He said he would purchase a copy so that I could proudly say I sold a copy. Well, that great suggestion turned into a phenomenal book signing at Barnes and Noble of my book, 365 Days of Gratitude… there is always something to be grateful for!
From my self-care journaling experience, I decided to share what I learned by writing a book, Out of Your Head into Your Journal, and conducting journaling workshops for teens, tweens and adults. It has been an enlightening journey and a remarkable path for me to heal.
Carolyn Gray is a Personal Development Strategist and Accountability Coach. She is a former Human Resources Manager and the owner of Zircon Consulting in Spring, Texas.
Her books are available on her website: zirconsulting.com and she can be reached via email at carolyn@zirconsulting.com
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