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The holiday season is upon us—a time filled with joy, celebration, and gatherings with loved ones. The twinkling lights, the laughter of children, the delicious aroma of a nostalgic feast cooking in the kitchen. It’s the most wonderful time of the year, right? But for many of us, it can also be one of the most stressful and emotionally challenging seasons. Between holiday parties,
family gatherings and packed social calendars, the festivities often bring us face-to-face with something that can be harder to navigate than a shopping mall on Black Friday: family dynamics.
I think we can all agree that while we love our families deeply, spending extended time with them during the holidays can sometimes be, well, a challenge. The personalities, the disagreements, the old wounds that still sting. You might have that aunt who’s always critical, the cousin who brings up politics at the dinner table, or a sibling with whom you’ve had a strained relationship for years. And as much as we cherish these people, sometimes it takes more than just showing up with a smile. Sometimes it takes prayer not only to love them but to like them too.
Family: God’s Design and Our Challenge
Family is a gift from God, but it’s not always an easy one to unwrap. Scripture tells us that we are to love one another and bear each other’s burdens (Galatians 6:2), but it doesn’t shy away from the fact that relationships—especially family relationships—can be messy.
Look at the Bible itself: Cain and Abel, Jacob and Esau, Joseph and his brothers. The Bible is
full of stories about families that struggled with jealousy, betrayal, and misunderstanding. It’s a
reminder that while family is meant to be a source of love and support, it can also be a place
where our patience and grace are tested.
As Christians, we know that we are called to love our families unconditionally but loving doesn’t always mean it’s easy. The holidays, with their packed schedules and forced proximity, can magnify tensions and unresolved conflicts. But even in those moments of discomfort or frustration, we are called to remember that love isn’t just a warm fuzzy feeling—it’s an action, a choice we make.
When Love is a Choice, Not a Feeling
One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn as a Christian woman is that loving someone doesn’t always mean you’re going to like them all the time. This can be especially true during the holidays when every family gathering feels like a pressure cooker. You might be tired, overwhelmed, or just frustrated with that one relative who seems to push all your buttons. It’s in these moments that we must rely on prayer and God’s strength to extend love, even when it feels difficult.
In 1 Corinthians 13:4-7, we find the well-known description of love: Love is patient, love is kind. It
does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud... it keeps no record of wrongs. The truth is, sometimes we need to revisit this passage during the holidays when our patience is wearing thin and old grudges are threatening to surface.
When Aunt Susan makes a passive-aggressive comment about your parenting style, or Uncle Bob starts criticizing your life choices, it’s easy to react in frustration. But it’s in these moments that we’re reminded of God’s call to love. Loving our family means choosing patience over snapping back, choosing kindness over criticism, and choosing to let go of the past rather than rehashing old arguments.
It’s not easy, and no one said it would be, but the holidays provide an opportunity for us to grow in love—not the sentimental kind we see on Hallmark cards, but the deep, Christ-like love that shows up when it’s hardest.
Loving with Grace and Boundaries
One of the most important lessons I’ve learned is that loving someone doesn’t mean tolerating behavior that hurts us. Jesus calls us to love, but He also sets an example of boundaries. He didn’t let people walk all over Him or manipulate Him. Sometimes, love means setting healthy boundaries with family members who may not always respect us.
Boundaries allow us to love our family while protecting our emotional and spiritual well-being. It’s okay to say no to a situation that will drain you or put you in a harmful environment. Setting
boundaries doesn’t mean you don’t love your family—it means you love them enough to keep
your relationship healthy.
For some of us, that might look like limiting the time we spend at gatherings where we know conflict tends to arise. For others, it might mean stepping away from a heated conversation before it escalates. The important thing to remember is that we can still show love while also honoring the limits God has given us.
Praying for Our Family (and Ourselves)
The holidays are a time to reflect on the birth of Christ, the ultimate example of love. Jesus
came into this world to bring peace and reconciliation—not just between us and God, but
between us and each other.
That’s why prayer is such a vital part of navigating family gatherings during the holidays.
We need to pray for our family, asking God to soften their hearts and heal any divisions, and just
as importantly, we need to pray for ourselves.
I’ve found that when I pray before a family event, asking God to give me patience, understanding, and grace, it changes my perspective. Instead of going in expecting conflict or frustration, I’m more prepared to be a vessel of God’s love.
Prayer helps me remember that my role in the family isn’t to fix everyone or make everything
perfect—it’s simply to love them as Christ loves me.
Love Them Anyway
At the end of the day, the holidays are about celebrating love. The love that God showed
us through the birth of His Son, and the love we are called to extend to others—especially
our family. Even when it’s hard. Even when they drive us crazy. Even when we’d rather avoid the
gathering altogether.
So, this holiday season, as you gather with your family, remember that loving them is not just a feeling, but a choice. It’s choosing grace over bitterness, patience over frustration, and prayer over anger. You may not be able to change your family, but you can love them anyway. And in
doing so, you reflect the love of Christ—the greatest gift of all.
Kylie Boyd White, a work-from-home mom, cherishes the journey of motherhood with her baby boy. She recently relocated back to the USA from Singapore, where she has continued to manage her successful marketing agency. In addition to her entrepreneurial pursuits, Kylie is the proud author of Lady Bug, a delightful children’s book that inspires self-love and celebrates individuality.
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