The Ties That Bind

by Shara Bueler-Repka

This phrase, although usually positive, can also fly in the opposite direction. Generational issues we’re tethered to can bind every aspect of our lives…After a particularly tough day at work, I curled up in my favorite chair, flipped to my favorite TV program, and nursed my wine of choice.

Later that evening, as I reached for the wine bottle to fill my glass for the third time, a still, small voice stopped me cold: “Do you want to end up like your grandfather?”I jumped back as if that bottle had fangs! And I whipped around to see who had spoken.

There was no one there. Heart pounding, I realized the Lord was intervening in a situation that might have become a serious issue.

What drives addiction or disorder? These issues, like weeds, have roots.

The word “FEAR” flashed across my thoughts.

My family is no stranger to gut-wrenching, knee-knocking fear. 

One of my grandmothers fled Mexico with her family—Pancho Villa, the notorious bandit, hot on their heels. The fear they felt and the horrors they saw haunted their memories. Fear: of dying, of losing loved ones still in Mexico, of the future.

One of my grandfathers was kicked out of his home in Switzerland because he was too small to work the family farm. Fear: of rejection, of the unknown, of his own volatile anger. I didn’t know my other grandfather too well, but was told he couldn’t be trusted. fear of disappointment. My other grandmother was pretty much a saint. But she, too, had heartaches and fears that culminated into the phrase “Pray for the best, but prepare for the worst.” My grandfather had run off, leaving her with three little kids to raise, one mentally challenged. Fear: of abandonment, of the “what ifs,” of failing.

Enter my immediate family: two residences burned out by arson, my mother shot by a psychotic woman on drugs, various health scares and crises, and the various “normal” heartaches of death and divorce.

The term “it could never happen to me” was a lost platitude in our family. When one realizes that “it” can actually happen, one lives life a little jumpy, fearing what may lurk in the shadows. And voilà, the dangerous root of fear takes hold, watered by experience. Could fear be a generational sin? I believe so. Generations can pass down that spirit through actions and words.

In my case, “taking the edge off” with the wine was my way of coping with anxiety from work situations. Fear: of failure. I ran to the wine instead of “casting my cares” (1 Peter 5:7).

Hebrews 3:12-13 warns: “Beware, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief in departing from the living God, but exhort one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.

”Breaking Free From Fear. The spirit of fear is a stronghold. And, just like its enemy-author, it steals, kills, and destroys. But there is hope. Second Timothy 1:7 encourages: “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” And 1 John 4:18 exhorts: “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” When we trust in that perfect, unconditional love that God extends to us, our relationship with Him will be stronger than any fear we face.

Building Trust in God and His Promises Fear of the unknown: Proverbs 3:5-6Fear of the future/the “what ifs”: Psalm 112:7; Jeremiah 29:11Fear of dying: Hebrews 2:14-15Fear of the diagnosis: Isaiah 53:5Fear of failing: James 1:5Fear of others: Psalm 118:6Fear of loss: Isaiah 41:10; Psalm 34:17-19; 1 Thessalonians 4:13-14Fear of loneliness: Joshua 1:9Fear of lack: Matthew 6:33Fear of abandonment: Deuteronomy 31:6Fear of rejection: Psalm 27:10Fear of gossip: Isaiah 54:17

Praise: Nothing pierces through the fog of fear like the power of praise, as we refocus on God who has “made a way” before and will do it again. (Isaiah 43:19) 

Fear drives people to do crazy stuff, listen to people they shouldn’t, run from things they need to face, and even coerce others to do the same. 

I don’t want to be that person.

I am determined to break all ties that bind that have hindered my race and honor Jesus, who paid a high price with His life to set me free. (see Hebrews 12:1-2)

Shara Bueler Repka

Shara is a singer-songwriter, recording artist, freelance writer, and award-winning author who embraces a life of adventure and faith. She and her husband of 22 years, Bruce, live in their horse trailer, calling home wherever they are parked, while their mail base remains in Hallettsville, Texas. Through their Pony Express Ministry, they share God’s Word through music, testimonies, and backcountry ministry alongside their horses, Rocky and Nocona—affectionately known as “The Boys.”

Shara writes about God’s grace found along life’s less-traveled paths. Her book, Walk Like a Warrior, is a collection of true, inspiring stories from their journey, revealing God’s love, protection, and provision in everyday moments. These heartfelt memoirs reflect a personal and powerful God who desires a relationship with each of us. Through stories and photos, readers are invited to experience faith, encouragement, and adventure on the trail.