Let God Love You: Ending the Cycle of Self-Rejection

By Nicole Roth 

See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are (1 John 3:1).

“I just looked myself in the mirror,” I announced excitedly to my husband as I exited the

women’s bathroom at a Christian conference we were attending. Looking confused, he replied,

“Um, great, honey.” I reminded him about why this was such a big deal.

In elementary school, I experienced significant rejection from my peers over a rumor I never said that was pinned on me. I lost all of my friends overnight, and that spread to the classroom, the bus, etc. It felt like the whole world was against me. 

From then on, I walked around with my chin down and with so much shame and self-rejection that I could not look at myself in the mirror in a public restroom if there were other women present. This went on into adulthood.

During the event, we were doing a lot of healing work. In the process, that particular mirror

struggle ended and has never caused me a problem since. Praise God. There were other mirror

issues that were harder to face.

Fast forward a few years to a health-through-inner-healing class I was in at church. The leader

asked us to go home and look ourselves in the mirror and, in light of God’s love, say, “(your

name), I really, really love you.” I tried to do that exercise and sobbed. It was much too painful.

When I returned the following week, the leader asked how it went for the 15 or so women, all

who had chronic health issues. Not one of us could receive what Jesus died to give us. How

tragic!

As I studied the spiritual root of disease, I learned that the root of autoimmunity is self-rejection. As I tried to find healing through God’s Word and His truth for this issue, I couldn’t find much

about that topic. The world’s answer to this issue of self-rejection is self-love. 

However, the Bible warns us that in the last days, people would be “lovers of self,” so that wasn’t the answer. I began to ask the Lord to show me how He wanted me to find healing for myself and others struggling with this issue. One thing He showed me shocked me. He showed me that much of this is rooted in pride. Self-hatred rooted in pride? What? That seems counterintuitive, but it’s true. God made us and His declarations over us; His word defines who we are and holds the ultimate truth. 

When we go against that and think or say, “No, No, that’s not for me,” we reject God’s

invitation into love. It’s putting ourselves in the center of the circle representing the throne of

our hearts.

When we allow God’s Word and the truth of our identity in Him to be our focus, we move out of

the center of focus. God becomes the rightful one in the center. Furthermore, returning our focus on Christ’s righteousness instead of trying to prove our own righteousness in

subconscious ways through spiritual disciplines or good works frees us up to receive God’s love.

It’s only in this “I’ve got nothing to give” posture of receiving that we have a revelation of God’s

grace.

Grace leads to gratitude.

Gratitude leads to humility.

This cycle never happens if we don’t take that first step of agreeing with God’s Word about who we are.

Here’s what He says about you: You are chosen, forgiven, redeemed, beloved, accepted,

righteous, holy (set apart), and so much more. That’s pretty incredible, isn’t it? The question

is…do you agree with Him?

As a mom of three daughters, I want them to know without a shadow of a doubt that nothing

can separate them from God’s love. That He looks at them and sees only Jesus and His

perfection. One of my deepest desires is for the cycle of generational self-hatred and rejection

to end so we can each declare—Jesus loves me, this I know—and truly mean it. I invite you, dear sister, to agree with God’s truth and let God love you. It will change everything.

Nicole Roth

Nicole Roth: As a Health Restoration & Joy Coach, Nicole Roth empowers the “hard on herself” woman of God to heal the “ache she can’t shake.” In the process, women transform shame into joy and lies into love through a revelation of grace. Wife to David for over 20 years, mom to 3 young adult daughters, an autoimmune warrior of 20 years, and former dietitian, Nicole is most at home in her kayak, out on a hiking trail with her dogs, in her hammock, or adventuring in her camper!

The means Nicole uses to be a catalyst of change, healing, and growth include coaching, community, and courses, plus in-person nature adventures and retreats! Please visit nicoleroth.com to learn more.